* is speechless*

Intuition is a mofo. I knew something was going to happen, I knew it, all damned day! I woke up feeling that maybe I needed to head back to campus and I didn't listen; I wish I had. All I can do is thank God I didn't kill anyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm so angry at myself I can't think straight, but I'm still second and third guessing myself. Let me explain, anger is not something I always deal with well, and under the circumstances it's probably for the best that I didn't flip because apparently I wouldn't have been able to get out of jail until tonight. I know that it's good no one was hurt but at the same time, I'm livid with myself for allowing myself to be so thoroughly disrespected, and not really saying anything to defend myself. I just let it happen and as it went from bad to worse, I let it keep happening. In retrospect I tried to get out of there before it got too bad, I know I did because I told my friend that I wasn't feeling well and we needed to go. Did she listen? No, so I'm kind of upset with her as well; she didn't say anything, she just watched. I think I may need to re-examine that friendship. I was warned ahead of time to behave and I didn't just behave, I pretty much kept my mouth shut, which is not in my nature. Why I agreed to this I will never know, but rest assured the shit isn't happening again, I give as good as I get, that's just me and the fact that I was expected to just let some sorry as dudes that don't know me talk to me any type of way and not say anything back was wrong on her part. It was even more wrong when these bastards took it upon themselves to touch me and later put a very private part of his anatomy on me and I was just supposed to keep my mouth shut and she didn't say anything? WTF? I'm not blaming it all on her because I should have insisted we leave, right around the time they started discussing a fucking gang bang. I should have insisted we leave before that when I started to get angry, about the way I was being spoken to. But I did not and that's my fault. I didn't say too much of anything because every time I was about to, she'd catch my eye, silently reminding me that I was supposed to behave. Well, fuck that. From now on that shit isn't flying if you can't handle it, then fuck you, don't talk to me. I decided a very long time ago that I was done taking people's shit, and no man was going to just disrespect me or talk down to me in any way, let alone touch me without my permission. So now I'm pissed at myself for forgetting that, I guess I was right about stupidity being contagious, because I must have been contaminated, and I'm just realizing it now. No worries, though, the shit will not happen again, and trust that if it does there will be no conversation, I have no problem slicing off whatever is invading my personal boundaries. So, if you see on the news where some lady pulled a Lorena Bobbit, yeah that's me, I did the shit, and I'll make sure to smile for my mugshot.